Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages could turn out good or bad in certain cases of Chinese women. For example Lily was very lucky with her match. He was from a wealthy, high ranking family which brought Lily up and he was an honorable man. They had a love for each other that was brought out mostly by when they were seperated. They worried for each other when they were apart and both loved their children dearly. Lily also did all she could to please him, this way she could get what she wanted but also because her husband had done so much for her. Lily also became Lady Lu, a prominent figure in Chinese history. She bore 3 handsome sons and one beautful daughter who were the prized possessions for both of them. But it could go drastically the other way for some women, such as Snow Flower. She was married to a butcher, the lowest on the status chain. This also implied that he sinned daily, killing animals and eating them greedily. He also beat Snow Flower frequently for no reason. Although she was an obedient loving wife, he did not recognize this until she was on her death bed (because of his beatings!). Arranged marriages stuck women with men they did not love most of the time and also could be fatal in terms of emotional and physical health.

Love

There are many types of love in this novel. I believe the saddest love of all is the one between parent and a daughter. "We love our parents because they take care of us, but we are considered worthless branches on the family tree. We drain the family resources. We are raised by one family for another. As happy as we are in our natal families, we all know that parting is inevitable" (See 59). This proves that girls were truly "worthless". Their only reason for life was to breed sons and if they did not do that, they were shunned and humiliated because the husband would soon pick up concubines. To be a woman it meant obedience. If a woman was obedient they were welcomed into their new home and if they bred sons they were praised. All Lily wanted in the book was attention from her parents, love from them, and later on the attention and praise from her in-laws. She did this through obedience because she knew them they would notice her. She followed all of the rules and suggestions during her pregnancies and was so awarded by three sons and a daughter, Jade. But when her in-laws died she then became Lady Lu, she finally had the power in the household. But obedience was still drilled into her heart and brain, affecting her relationships with her true friends and family.

Snow Flower's Character

Snow Flower led a desolent life. She began it as a wealthy baby with everything a young Chinese girl would want. She had the clothes, recognition, and the house. But everything went downhill when her father became addicted to opium. He spent all of his money on the useless drug and did not plan to make any more money. As her lifestyle spun down her match maker aunt made a laotong match for her with a rising girl. She had to learn how to do chores, eat less, and made do with what a family has. Her laotong Lily brought inspiration to her and kept her going in life. She felt a deep passionate love for this girl and she taught her valuable life lessons. Even with almost perfectly bound feet Snow Flower was left to marry a butcher, the lowest on the status chain possible. He was not only a sinful, dishonest man but he also beat her mercilessly. Snow Flower had many miscarriages (most likely from the beatings) but then he would get angry that she miscarried. She was completely stuck, the only relief was Lily. But then Lily changed, she started to give Snow Flower practical not loving advice and soon cut off from Snow Flower completely. On her death bed was the last time she witnessed her laotong's love and it was final relief going in to the afterworld.

Lily's Character

Transformation was prevelant throughout this entire novel. A carefree child running the plains of China to a foot bound obedient girl. A lonely daughter longing listlessly for love to a much desired and loved woman. A loyal and loving friend to a cold heartless mistress. Although not all of these transformation were positive it proved that all of the obstacles in Lily's life happened for a reason and her character throughly changed through her life. People coming and leaving Lily's life also influenced her drastic differences. Snow Flower, her husband, Master and Lady Lu, and her children all played a role in her transformations. Other than the obvious physical changes that occurred when she became a lady she also felt the emotional struggles and strains. Her only relief was her new found laotong who came into her life at the exact correct moment. But becoming Lady Lu did not completely benefit her well being. She began to concentrate more on money and her husband, not realizing that she was pushing away her best friend. She had been trained so hard that she did not contemplate that the rules aren't always for the best, they do not always benefit everybody. As a lady there are certains things that are not allowed but some should be broken...